6 Steps to Feel Grounded Amid Uncertainty

Do you feel overwhelmed by rapid change?

How about isolation or a lack of unity in our fragmented society?

If so, you are not alone. According to the American Psychiatric Association's 2024 Mental Health Poll, 70% of adults are anxious about current events with 43% of adults feeling more anxious than the previous year, up from 37% in 2023 and 32% in 2022. As a society, we are scared. Accelerated change, toxic division, and information overload disrupt our social primate desire for collaboration, routine, and certainty.

Amid a tsunami of change, in an attempt to gain a sense of empowerment, it's easy to get swept up in the uncontrollable. Despite good intentions, we can react in ways that harm ourselves, the person we long to be, and the vision of the culture we wish to live in. Some numb out by binging on food, tech, or substances; some funnel their unmet needs by attacking others, which tends to destabilize their inner peace while adding gasoline to societal wildfires. While all of these behaviors are normal to a very abnormal reality (for our ancient nervous systems.) – its not helpful for us, our families, teams, or the patients we serve. 

If you resonate with this, experiment with the following steps to help you become the eye in the storm of uncertainty. 

1. Turn Inward. This may sound counterintuitive since it's easier to move with the cyclone, however, it's important to remember that the eye of the storm has the lowest pressure which helps create a sense of calm in chaos. To reduce pressure on your nervous system, reduce inputs and simplify your routines. Cut the spigot of news, social feeds, and external noise. Rise early, sleep early, eat your meals not your thoughts or problems, and spend time with your family and in silence.
2. Self-assess with curiosity and kindness. Once you slow down, observe your behaviors with objectivity. Maybe you notice doom scrolling past your bedtime. Perhaps you reach for food or fights to distract from overwhelm. You may observe racing thoughts and what-ifs, or anger towards others and situations out of your control. Take a breath. This is just information. Now that you are aware, you can do something about it.
3. Feel. It's common to avoid our most vulnerable feelings of fear or helplessness by getting angry. Think of Howard Beale's passionate speech to TV viewers as a news anchor in the 1976 movie, The Network:

"I want you to get MAD! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot – I don't want you to write to your congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad."

If you are getting MAD, it's most likely because life is unfolding in ways that violate your values. This is good information, however, I invite others (and myself) to dig deeper. Under body tension, the sound and fury of resistance often lies fear. We don't have control, we don't like what is happening, and we are afraid. Feel that. Being angry at another or a situation is like picking up a piece of hot coal intending to throw it at the "enemy," and then getting severely burned in the process. Understandable. Not helpful.

1. Dissect Story from Sensations. When you feel fear, sadness, or grief, let go of the story about why you feel these things, and be with sensations, if only a teaspoon at a time. When we stop distracting and avoiding our fear/sadness with anger, we stop fueling the emotion. Notice what is left: tension in the throat, heaviness in the heart, the pain of being alive. When we do this with gentleness, we open ourselves up to transformative compassion. We stop fighting reality, "othering" others, or identifying with positions that demonize anyone who believes otherwise. By feeling the core of our grief, we soften, surrender, and we are humbled.
2. Decide to Decide. From this centered place, decide how you want to respond to the unknown. I often ask myself, "How can this too help me become the person I wish to be?" From this place, we develop strength, courage, focus, and a skillful road map to what is in our control.
3. Turn Outward. With every surrender, there is an opportunity for a transformative rebirth. No longer unconscious, distracting, avoiding, fighting, or trapped in victimhood, we can once again re-engage wisely. Archbishop Desmond Tutu popularized the philosophy of "Ubuntu" in post-apartheid South Africa. Ubuntu roughly translates to "I am because we are" or "humanity towards others," emphasizing interconnectedness, compassion, and mutual respect. I love this concept because it recognizes that despite all of our differences, everyone longs to be heard, seen, accepted, and to feel a sense of peace. Feeling our own grief allows us to see the humanity in others, and helps us approach opposing positions, life, and everything out of our control with curiosity, kindness, and heart.

I understand that this is not an easy 6-step formula for enlightenment. You may think that this is rubbish, or that you don't have time or the will. All of that is okay. And, for those inspired to use everything in life as manure for growth, may this invitation remind us that each moment offers us a choice regarding who we want to be, no matter how unstable the world is around us.